The differences between a dog's diary and a cat's diary

Entries in a Dog's  Diary:

7  am - Oh boy! A walk! My favorite!
8  am - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9  am - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The yard!  My favorite!
2  pm - Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!
3  pm - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
4  pm - Oh boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
6  pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Mom! My favorite!
7  pm - Oh boy! Welcome home Dad! My favorite!
8  pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9  pm - Oh boy! Tummy rubs on the couch! My  favorite!
11  pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in my people's bed! My  favorite!

Entries in a cat's  diary:

Day  183 of my captivity ... My captors continued to taunt me  with
bizarre little dangling  objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
while I am forced to eat  dry cereal.

The  only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the
mild satisfaction I get from  clawing the furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my
captors by weaving around  their feet while they were walking almost
succeeded. Must try this  at the top of the stairs.

In  an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I  once
again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair. Must try this
on their bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body in
an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to
strike fear in their  hearts. They only cooed and condescended about
what a good little cat I  was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of  gathering of their accomplices. I was placed
in solitary throughout the  event. However, I could hear the noise and
smell the food. More  important, I overheard that my confinement was
due to my powers of inducing "allergies." Must learn what this is and
how to  use it to my advantage.

I  am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches.

The  dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. 
He is  obviously a half-wit.

The  bird, on the other hand, has got to be an informant. She speaks
with them regularly. I am  certain she reports my every move. Due to
her current placement in the  metal container, her safety is assured.
But  I can wait; it is only a matter of  time.